They say it’s the most wonderful time of the year. That one time when we focus on joy, celebration, and togetherness but the truth is, the holiday season can be a difficult time for some people. This is a period that can resurface and exacerbate uncomfortable feelings that we’ve been managing or struggling with during the year. We might be extra stressed about complex family dynamics, finances, grieving the loss of a loved one, or dealing with heartbreak over a recent breakup. Perhaps we’re alone for the holidays and feeling isolated. Instead of holiday cheer, the festive season can often serve to magnify our stress, emotions, and difficulties.
These feelings of melancholy, isolation, and anxiety can cast a shadow over what should be a joyful season, and this is what makes navigating the holiday blues challenging. According to a survey conducted by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), approximately 24% of people with a diagnosed mental illness find that the holidays make their condition a lot worse. Holiday blues are different from mental illness and are a common phenomenon. It’s essential to recognize that you’re not alone if you find this time of year challenging.
Holiday blues or SAD?
The holiday blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) share some common symptoms, making it crucial to distinguish between the two. The main difference however stems from seasonal patterns. The holiday blues are often linked to specific stressors/triggers during the festive season and are often characterized by feelings of sadness that last throughout the annual end-of-year season, particularly in November and December. However, the holiday blues seem to fade away shortly after the New Year’s celebration.
SAD on the other hand is a form of major depressive disorder that occurs with the changing seasons, typically in winter. SAD is often associated with reduced exposure to sunlight, leading to disruptions in circadian rhythms and melatonin levels. Understanding whether you’re experiencing holiday-related stress or a more persistent mood disorder can guide you toward effective coping mechanisms.
What causes holiday blues?
Financial Stress and Gift-Giving Pressures
The financial strain of holiday expenses, combined with the societal emphasis on gift-giving, can be overwhelming. Feeling the need to meet material expectations can lead to anxiety and stress. You don’t have to overextend yourself financially instead, explore alternative gift-giving strategies such as homemade presents or meaningful experiences. This can help alleviate financial pressures and refocus on the true spirit of the season.
Coping with Loss and Loneliness
For those grieving the loss of a loved one or experiencing loneliness during the holidays, the festive atmosphere can amplify feelings of sadness, isolation, and can even escalate to depression. Not everyone will be in a position to spend the holidays with family and friends and this can make the holidays seem especially lonely. If you are coping with loss or dealing with loneliness during this time of the year, you can embrace creating new holiday traditions. It’s also important to allow yourself to grieve while also finding moments of joy- feel the feelings but don’t allow yourself to be consumed by them. This is vital in navigating these challenging emotions.
Family Dynamics and unrealistic expectations
One specific stressor that takes the cake during the holidays is spending time with family, especially if there are any dysfunctional family dynamics which unfortunately can’t magically disappear during the most wonderful time of the year. Holiday cheer or not, remember to set boundaries to protect your peace during this time. Don’t forget the golden rule-extend grace and allow your relatives to be themselves if you want the same freedom in return.
Sometimes even having high hopes for the season whether self-imposed or influenced by societal norms, can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and disappointment leading to holiday stress and sadness. The over-commercialization of the holiday season creates the expectation that people are supposed to have nonstop holiday cheer further adding yet another stressor to an already hectic time of year.
Strategies for managing the holiday blues
Here are some strategies to help you prioritize your well-being during this festive season.
- Learn to say no: This time of the year means that there will inevitably be people asking for your help and making demands on your time and resources. You do not have to attend every holiday party that you are invited to as this can easily turn into a stressful social obligation, especially for more introverted people. Small favors for friends and family can also morph into huge projects that you didn’t anticipate. Know your limits and learn how to say “no ” without feeling the need to over-explain yourself.
- Prioritize self-care: Amid the hustle and bustle, don’t forget to prioritize self-care. Schedule time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation even if it’s just for 20 minutes. Whether that’s reading a book, taking a long bath, or going for a peaceful walk. Setting aside moments for yourself is crucial for recharging your mental and emotional well-being. Consider Incorporating mindfulness practices into your self-care routine. Meditation and deep breathing exercises are techniques that can help you stay present, manage stress, and foster a sense of calm amidst the holiday chaos.
- Set Realistic Expectations: Recognize that the holidays don’t have to be perfect. Embrace imperfections and focus on creating meaningful moments rather than adhering to unrealistic standards. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can help alleviate the pressure and allow for a more enjoyable and authentic experience.
- Be open to new traditions: Have you ever paused to ask yourself if that trip upcountry is necessary? If your traditional holiday celebrations are a source of overwhelm and stress, consider creating new traditions that align with your values and bring you joy. Whether it’s volunteering, or hosting a small gathering at home, forging your own path can make the holiday season more meaningful and less overwhelming.
- Seek Support and Connection: Whether you’re navigating family dynamics, coping with loss, or feeling isolated, don’t hesitate to seek support. Reach out to friends, family, or mental health professionals. Connecting with others and sharing your feelings can provide valuable perspectives, comfort, and a sense of community.
Not everyone is going to be merry all season long. People are grieving, burnt out, financially stressed, or simply in survival mode just trying to do the best they can. For this reason, the holidays can be a tough time of the year for a lot of people, you never know what someone is going through so let’s remember to be kind and extend grace not just to the people around us, but to ourselves too. Prioritize your well-being this holiday season and rediscover the joy of the most wonderful time of the year.