Motherhood is often perceived as a journey of selflessness, yet through Kitt’s narrative, it unveils itself as a profound exploration of balance, resilience, and the relentless pursuit of personal fulfillment. We had the privilege of having a conversation on all things motherhood with Kitt Kiarie. A remarkable woman who effortlessly juggles multiple roles as a wife, mother, renowned sleep trainer, and advocate for mindful motherhood. Renowned as the “baby whisperer,” her journey into motherhood and expertise in sleep training is rooted in deeply ingrained values and personal experiences.
Beyond her confident exterior and vibrant online persona, lies an introverted soul, delicately navigating the complexities of social interactions with a tender balance of vulnerability and strength. With her unique perspective on parenting, Kitt challenges conventional norms, advocating for moments of solitude within the family dynamic and nurturing a sense of individuality within each member. Through her insights, she embodies resilience, wisdom, and an unwavering commitment to fostering harmony in both her family and herself.
Who is Kitt?
What does a typical day look like as a mum?
I have two kids, a 9-year-old and a 7-year-old. We live outside of town but my kids go to school in Nairobi. A typical day starts with me waking up my children at 5:30 AM every day. We don’t have a live-in nanny and in fact, we have not had one for over 6 years and that’s because I don’t like people in my personal space so it’s my responsibility to get my children ready for school.
I wake them up, ensure they are dressed for the day, make them breakfast, and pack their snacks. I also pack my husband some snacks as well and then they are off. I don’t drop my children off at school but it’s my job to pick them up from school every afternoon. My day usually ends after I have picked up my children and everybody knows I don’t work after that.
Occasionally I will take online meetings, but I don’t typically leave the house after I pick up my children from school. That’s a basic day in my life as a mum when my children are going to school.
Tell us something about yourself that we wouldn’t know from following you on social media?
I am an introvert! I am afraid of meeting new people. Whenever I go to events, I usually have somebody with me, either my sister, husband, or a friend. I am also painfully shy! Just because I am outspoken and outgoing, people don’t get to see or catch that off hand when they first meet me and I guess that’s why whenever I describe myself as an introvert, a lot of people don’t believe me.
I don’t get energy from people however, I do give a lot of energy to people leading many to perceive me as outgoing. However, I have to come down off any social interaction for 2-3 days to recharge. That’s one thing I would say a lot of people don’t know about me.
Kitt on all things sleep training
You are known as the baby whisperer, what inspired you to become a sleep trainer, and what drew you to become a specialist in this specific field of child care?
Sleep training is only new or catching up in Kenya now, but It’s a very old profession. I have always known about it because my mother sleep-trained us and so when I got my kids, it was just guaranteed that I would also end up sleep-training them. I don’t think of myself as a work-hard mum.
I am a work-smart person and I always knew I was going to be a work-smart mum because I don’t believe in suffering in this life. I only have one life, and I’m not going to get a medal because I suffered the most nor are my children going to love me more because I suffered.
Occasionally I would get people asking me why I don’t look haggard, and exhausted as a new mum and my answer was always “I sleep train my children.” This sparked a lot of curiosity among new mums and I would just share my tips, and tricks with them and even ended up sleep-training hundreds of children before I started making money off of it.
It was not until I had my second child, my son that people now started to take me seriously as a sleep trainer/baby whisperer. I guess there was always the assumption that girls are easier to train so when I had my son and successfully managed to sleep-train him, people got more curious about how I was doing it and they were eager for me to show them my tips and tricks.
I saw this as an opportunity and took online classes to learn how to do it professionally for other people. And the rest as they say is history, I have been doing it for 7 years.
I don’t believe in suffering in this life. I only have one life, and I’m not going to get a medal because I suffered the most nor are my children going to love me more because I suffered.
For those who might not know, could you describe what sleep training is all about?
Let me start by describing what training is. Training is the act or action of teaching someone how to do a particular thing over and over again. Similarly, sleep training is the same. You are literally teaching your child how to sleep without your help as a parent. My favorite question that people always ask is “Can you give me a few tips for me to be able to sleep train tonight?” Although this is a valid question, it’s not practical because this is like asking someone to give you tips on how to lose weight today. Sleep training is an ongoing thing, you can’t do it today and expect results the very same day. You have to keep doing it over and over, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Sleep training is not a magic wand or a button that you press, you have to put in the work.
Motherhood hacks & lessons learned
Please share with us a mum/child hack that you have learned
Babies like to hang. If your child is crying inconsolably, try holding them on your arm with their tummy and head resting on your forearms and their legs and arms hanging on either side. It’s called a football hold or a daddy hold because men have bigger forearms.
When the baby is in this position, the pressure presses on the stomach and it calms them down. We don’t know why, but do that with a screaming baby and watch them calm down instantly, that’s the best hack I ever learned!
What is one of the most unexpected lessons that you have learned from your children?
This is a bitter, sweet lesson but I’ve learned that I am not the one who protects or keeps them safe. They will either be safe or protected by God, so it’s not really me doing anything. The children are passing through me; they don’t come from me. I am just a custodian so my role is to kind of remove myself from being everything to my children.
I’m a Christian and I believe that if you worship anything, even your children God can remove that so you can focus on Him. It’s a scary thought but I have to constantly remind myself that as much as my job is to teach and protect these people that I have brought into this world, I also can’t do everything. I am not their maker, and I am not their sole protector.
What’s your go-to trick for keeping the peace during chaotic family moments?
That’s a good question, we introduced something called “quiet time”. Any member of the family is allowed to ask for quiet time, and they get five minutes of uninterrupted time to themselves. This means that everybody else in the house has to keep quiet. The TV is turned off, the radio is turned off, and we don’t talk or relate to this person for five minutes.
We can relate with each other, but we have to whisper or step away to give the person their five minutes of space and rest. My children ask for quiet time a lot when they are bickering with each other, and I also ask for quiet time when they are bickering with each other. I don’t know if my husband has ever asked for quiet time, but it’s available to him. It’s available to anyone in the house.
Are you able to find moments for yourself as a mother and when you do find those moments, what do you like to do?
I wouldn’t even say I find moments; my whole life is for myself. I believe in living for me so I put myself first in most scenarios because I truly believe that a happy, well-rested, well-adjusted mum, raises sane children.
I don’t want my children to ever believe that they are my everything or my whole life. I feel like that puts so much pressure on them to be perfect children because they are my everything.
Children need to realize that mothers are people and not just this thing that does things for them. You are a person in your own right. That being said I do enjoy a couple of things like reading, swimming, and going out with friends. I also enjoy watching videos on my phone and taking walks, which I do every single day.
I truly believe that a happy, well-rested, well-adjusted, mum raises sane children.
